How to Manage Your Life and Fulfill Your Desires
A person can truly listen to themselves when there is calmness around, free from the noise of worldly affairs. The perfect time for self-analysis is at night, when you are resting, lying in bed before sleep, immersed in your thoughts. At this time, it is possible to become aware of and actualize any desires and intentions because all attention is focused on oneself.
Have you ever noticed that it’s challenging to contemplate your deep desires during the day? Work, studies, social interactions, and other responsibilities take precedence… Hence, the only way for most people to be alone with themselves is at night. It is then that you can find the answer to the question, “What do I really want?” However, be cautious with your desires, as there is a high probability that they will come true.
Nature of Desires
To understand what you want, you first need to understand the rules of the game. Let’s go back to the origins and explore the nature of desires.
To begin with, desires arise in us daily. The essence of being human is to desire something. When we fulfill one desire, another one takes its place. There won’t be a single moment when we have no desires. This is a mechanism of human development, evolution, embedded by nature.
Desire is a signal that something is important to us right now. Desire arises from a mental state that over time transforms into pain. Pain is a state when we want something but cannot obtain it. The longer we do not realize our desires, the higher the pain becomes. When we feel pain, it motivates us to make efforts to avoid feeling it. The applied effort eventually turns into the desire we were striving for.
Now, let’s delve into the elements of the scheme in more detail:
- Mental State: A set of emotions, states that depend on time, place, social position, and financial status. The type of desire is directly formed from our state. Example 1: You earned your first million, and to enter the circle of millionaires, you buy a yacht and throw a party. Opposite example: A person with a large family works tirelessly, and their situation makes them contemplate tranquility and spiritual development.
- Time: A resource we pay for any desire. Want a yacht? Pay more, but then you’ll need the strength to endure greater pain.
- Pain: A stimulator that helps a person realize their desire faster. The longer we do not realize it, the higher the pain becomes.
- Effort: Under the influence of pain, we need to exert effort to achieve what we desire.
Now, understanding the nature of desires, there’s no need to fear pain or avoid it. Avoiding pain won’t bring us closer to fulfilling our desire, and the pain will intensify, leading to depression, aggression, and other destructive states. Achieving what we want is possible only by working with our pain.
How to Understand Oneself and Decipher Desires
First Stage: Observation of Thoughts
Having understood how our desires work, we can return to the theme of self-awareness. Since the best time for self-analysis is at night, all the thoughts that come to you are an indication of who you are at that moment. The real you without the mask of society. Do not deny your thoughts, however unpleasant they may be. After all, you don’t know when you’ll have such a concentrated time again. Focus on them, start reviewing them like a movie. The key is not to reason about them or develop them further. If you manage to endure the stream of thoughts without diverting, then you can proceed to the next stage of self-discovery.
Second Stage: Analysis
When desires come to you, first find out their source, their root. Why do you want this? Whether it’s a material or spiritual desire, everything has a cause, a starting point. Just answer the question, “Why do I want this?” Evaluate the importance of your answer. If it is still important to you, answer the following set of questions:
- How much time is needed to fulfill the desire?
- How many material resources are required?
- How will the path to the goal affect your mental state?
- How will your life change after achieving the desire?
Then, analyze each of your answers: do you accept the outcome? Rate it on a scale of 1–4, where
1 — I can easily accept it;
2 — I can, but there are doubts;
3 — it’s difficult to accept;
4 — impossible to accept.
Afterward, the most interesting part begins: you can add up all the points, resulting in a score ranging from 4–16. The outcome reflects your degree of acceptance of your desire, how easy it will be for you to realize it. If the result is closer to the maximum, then you should understand that at the moment, you won’t be able to achieve this desire. Simply put, your inner state is not prepared for it. In that case, review your answers where you couldn’t accept them and ask yourself: “Why can’t I accept this? Why is it difficult for me?” Identify the reason and work on yourself.
How to Manage Your Life
There are several recommendations for managing your life:
- Stop being afraid. Desired outcomes can only be achieved through effort.
- Learn to wait. Efforts always yield results. In some situations, more effort and consequently more time are required.
- Eliminate self-doubt. You can achieve anything you desire. The greater the desire, the longer the journey and the more resources need to be invested.
- Limit the influence of others. People have no right to criticize your desires because they don’t understand them. They are not you and do not know what will make you happier.
- Focus your attention only on what is important. Devote maximum attention and effort to realizing your desire. Believe that if you don’t manage secondary tasks, you won’t be as distressed as leaving the primary desire unfulfilled.
- Always think about improving your life. At every stage of your life, consider how you can enhance it. Remember that life is constantly changing, and there will always be fluctuations. Be prepared for them. Always analyze how you can improve your current life stage by asking, “What do I want?”
How to Find Direction in Life
When there is uncertainty, there is fear. Often, there are people who exert pressure, cast judgment, and criticize, causing you to hesitate. Judgment is a sign that those criticizing have not figured out their own lives, so their opinions and actions should not influence you (review the previous two headings).
Whenever you face pressure from others, repeat the following phrase:
Other people do not determine how I should live my life, who I should become, and what mood I should have.
Consider who you want to become, the outcome you desire. Reflect on what you need to achieve this, then revisit the life management list.
