Why People Lie and How to Recognize Deceitful Signs
Why do people lie? Despite its simplicity, this question doesn’t have a straightforward answer.
Some individuals strive to speak the truth, while others lie more than others, and some lie consistently. The reasons for lying can be numerous, ranging from justifiable to malicious and deceitful.
People often resort to embellishments, inventing absurd reasons and justifications instead of honestly confessing to themselves and those around them.
But today, we are not here to condemn lies. In this article, let’s explore common reasons and signs of deception to be able to timely detect falsehood in our lives.
Reasons for lying
Lies can be prompted by various motives, which can be both positive and negative. Some people lie to avoid punishment or protect another person, while others might lie to gain admiration from those around them. Additionally, lies can be connected to the desire to gain some advantage, maintain confidentiality, or avoid awkward situations.
It is crucial to understand that the motives for lying can vary significantly depending on the situation and the individual who is lying. However, there is a common thread that unites all liars — fear. You will see this as we examine some of the most common reasons for lying. This knowledge will help you guard against deception and recognize it.
Avoiding punishment
Avoiding punishment is the most common motivation for lying, both among children and adults. It is important to note that there is almost no difference between a lie told to avoid punishment for an intentional wrongdoing and an honest mistake.
Typically, people resort to this reason for lying when they do something wrong, feeling fear that they will face punishment or lose something important to them – their job, reputation, or relationships. To avoid trouble, they may resort to lying.
When people lie, they may conceal their actions, create false impressions of their actions or intentions. This can help them evade responsibility for their actions or the negative consequences that may arise from these actions.
In cases where the liar knows that punishment awaits upon detection, lies can be detected by certain signs, such as facial expressions, body movements, gaze, voice, and choice of words. The threat of punishment imposes emotional stress, causing involuntary changes that can betray the lie.
False attribution of merit for rewards
This motive is particularly popular among people with insufficient experience. For example, individuals may lie about their work experience in a job interview to increase their chances of employment. Also, people may falsely attribute someone else’s work to deceptively gain recognition.
This type of lie is usually challenging to verify because the liar uses someone else’s experience, modifying it to suit themselves. This is done to enhance authority and give more “weight” to their words. Most of the conversation of such a person may revolve around past experiences, like a rehearsed story with nothing else to tell.
Deception by these types of liars, with a rehearsed story or legend, easily unravels when asking them questions about the future, requesting detailed accounts of their story, or rephrasing inquiries about the moments they didn’t dwell on for long. Questions to the liar may include:
- What new ideas and thoughts do you have?
- Can you tell me more about this moment?
- In which direction are you heading?
If the answers are brief and simple, and the mood changes, it can be more confidently stated that you are dealing with a liar.
Protecting another person from punishment
Protecting another person is one of the primary reasons people resort to serious deception. For instance, one may lie to shield a friend, colleague, sibling, spouse, or partner from punishment.
However, it remains uncertain whether society approves of this type of lie. When police officers refuse to testify against a colleague who has broken the law, we may respect their motives, but many believe that the motives should be righteous.
While such deception can bring people closer, it’s essential to remember that its use may indicate avoiding accountability for the person for whom the lie is told. Employing such falsehoods is recommended only in cases where a real threat to a dear person is imminent.
Protection from physical and psychological threat
At times, people are compelled to lie to protect their physical and psychological well-being, not out of fear of punishment. For example, a child may lie to a stranger at the door to safeguard themselves if a parent is not at home.
In the case of a genuine threat to life or health, signs of lying can be evident. It is crucial to maintain composure and control emotions, especially in an emotional state. One way to maintain composure is to control breathing. Even, steady breathing with reduced frequency helps alleviate tension and maintain clarity of thought.
Earning admiration from others
Deceptive behavior with the aim of boosting popularity can take various forms, from minor exaggerations to creating an entirely new persona.
This tactic of lying is often used to enhance one’s image and gain an advantage over others. Its primary objective is to evoke admiration from those around.
An explicit example of deceptive behavior is boasting. This phenomenon is prevalent among children, teenagers, and even adults. While the exposure of deceit may negatively impact the braggart’s reputation, it does not lead to serious consequences. However, making a false claim that you earned money for previous investors crosses into the criminal sphere and has serious legal repercussions.
Escaping awkward social situations
Avoiding embarrassment is associated with many types of lies termed “everyday lies.” People often lie to avoid finding themselves in awkward social situations.
They use excuses such as “can’t find a babysitter” to dodge a dull evening or “sorry, I’m already leaving” to avoid giving a truthful response when speaking with strangers.
This issue lies within ourselves, and it is worth analyzing why it affects us. Finding an answer can lead to ways to overcome awkwardness without resorting to lies.
It is also important to learn to say “no” when you realize that the situation or position does not suit you. The impression you make on other people depends on your responsibility to your desires and self-sufficiency.
Desire to appear polite and courteous
Sometimes, deception can be hidden behind politeness. For example, when you say “thank you for the wonderful party” or “that color suits you very well,” your goal may not necessarily be to tell the truth. It is merely an exchange of pleasantries that helps emphasize your attitude toward the person.
However, if you pay attention to the person’s facial expression, you may notice that all these kind words come from a forced expression. Therefore, if you want to understand whether you are being deceived out of politeness, observe the person’s facial expressions.
Maintaining confidentiality without declaring intent
People may lie to maintain confidentiality without announcing it. This occurs when a person has no complete trust in another or does not want to share personal information. Lies may be used to alter facts in various situations, presented under the guise of truth.
Exercising power over others
These are particularly dangerous individuals who seek to control others to dictate their actions.
Such people can be recognized by their behavior, as they often demonstrate confidence that they know better than others and that their opinion is more important. However, to avoid succumbing to their influence, it is crucial to critically assess any statement they make and understand how it may impact you.
How to recognize lies
After familiarizing ourselves with the primary reasons for lying, we can identify signs of lying that are often exhibited by deceivers. Some of these signs include:
- Unstable eye contact: Liars often avoid eye contact or maintain it for a short period.
- Inconsistency between verbal and nonverbal signals: For instance, a person may smile, but their body expresses tension and nervousness.
- Avoiding direct answers: Liars often evade answering a direct question or respond in general terms to avoid giving a clear answer.
- Excessive use of negative words (e.g., “no,” “never,” “not at all”): Liars may use such words excessively to deny allegations.
- Contradictory statements: Liars frequently make conflicting statements or alter their story to conceal the truth.
- Overemphasis on details: Liars may add unnecessary details to their story to obscure the truth.
- Inappropriate tone of voice: Liars may use an inappropriate or high-pitched tone of voice to mask their deception.
It is important to remember that each person is unique and may exhibit lies differently. To enhance lie-detection skills, one can study literature on this topic and pay attention to signals sent by the conversation partner when they are lying.
Do We Really Want to Know if Someone Is Lying?
In most cases, there is no quick and easy way to recognize deception, and even if there were, we might not like what we discover.
People often claim to want the truth, but there are many instances where it is more convenient to believe in a lie. In such circumstances, we tend to ignore signs of deceit and justify suspicious behavior to avoid potential negative consequences of exposing the lies we are told.
Nevertheless, to avoid manipulation, you must, in some situations, understand why people lie.
If you are dealing with someone unfamiliar, be attentive to every word spoken. Deception has become ingrained in people’s lives. To counteract it, start by being honest with yourself.
